Dreams, College, And Not A Single Picture

13 Jun

I have been putting off writing here for weeks now. It is not a case of writer’s block. I could write a book right now with all the thoughts that are constantly swirling around my brain. The lack of writing is more related to a general aversion to social media and the internet in general. Also, the pressure of feeling like I had to get online to post a daily photo back in May made blogging feel like a chore. Honestly, after that 31-day daily picture challenge, I got tired of pictures. Not tired of taking them but tired of having to edit and upload them.

So I vow not to include a single picture in this blog post.

Seriously though, one of the things I liked the most about the Photo-A-Day Challenge was getting creative with the prompts. That and the actual process of getting that perfect shot. I really want to get back into photography. Perhaps after I’m done with grad school, this will be something I will pursue more seriously.

Speaking of things that have nothing to do with photography, I really should be sleeping right now or at least doing something productive. I have some serious packing to do, but I keep procrastinating as usual. I am the type who likes to make a list of the things I am going to pack just so that I can check stuff off the list. Putting that little check mark feels so damn good. But here I am, procrastinating even my sleep.

The thing with sleep lately is that it has not been very restful. I have had so many freaking weird dreams. And really the dreams are not weird in a surreal sense – like dreaming of marrying a goat or making love to a tree (how does one even make love to a tree?)- but in a why-the-heck-am-I-dreaming-this kind of way. There have been two constant themes to my dreams lately: babies and people that I am no longer in touch with.  With regards to the former, I have dreamed the following:

-that I am pregnant

-that I am pregnant and give birth in a tub

-that I am pregnant and lose my baby

-that I pregnant and don’t know who the father is (ha!)

These dreams could be due to the fact that a) I know a couple of women who are pregnant right now, b) I am reading mommy-blogs or c) that I am 28 and my stupid biological clock is ticking. And the truth is there have been times when I see a baby and I think to myself, I think I want to have a baby now.

But now is definitely not the time, so forget it, Self.

As for dreaming about people I have lost touch with, I really have no explanation. The dreams involve different scenarios where I run into these people I no longer talk to. They wake me up in the middle of the night and then I spend all of the next day replaying the dream in my mind and changing what I say in the dream so that I sound cooler. It is utterly exhausting. As a result of these strange dreams, I keep listening to this song and trying to make sense of why my subconscious tries to bring up stuff ( or people) I want to forget about.

Anyways, it is officially Thursday now, which means only two more days at work for me. I am moving to college on Saturday and my summer semester officially starts on Monday. Here we go again, grad school.

See you on the flip side!


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