Don’t Worry…About A Thing…

‘Cause every little thing…is gonna be alright.

That’s what I have been telling myself since the beginning of this year. However, sometimes it is so damn hard not to worry. I keep telling one of my friends from college that I am an incurable “worrier”.

You get an unexpected bill from your college? Oh, well.

You start to panic because you realize most of your papers and stuff are due in a week? It will get done.

You have a bunch of e-mails that you need to answer but you keep avoiding? You will answer them…eventually. Or you can always delete them.

You are unable to do the things you need to do because life simply keeps getting in the way? Let it be.  Things will work themselves out.

I am writing here because I am making a deal with my brain to stop overthinking and overanalyzing everything so I can finish this damn writing assignment! You know how your brain gets when you want to stop thinking about something but then all you do is think about that thing? Well, that is how my brain is right now. Wired and distracted.

As much as I hate the following phrase, I realize I have no choice but to use it as my mantra.

This too shall pass.

Dreams, College, And Not A Single Picture

I have been putting off writing here for weeks now. It is not a case of writer’s block. I could write a book right now with all the thoughts that are constantly swirling around my brain. The lack of writing is more related to a general aversion to social media and the internet in general. Also, the pressure of feeling like I had to get online to post a daily photo back in May made blogging feel like a chore. Honestly, after that 31-day daily picture challenge, I got tired of pictures. Not tired of taking them but tired of having to edit and upload them.

So I vow not to include a single picture in this blog post.

Seriously though, one of the things I liked the most about the Photo-A-Day Challenge was getting creative with the prompts. That and the actual process of getting that perfect shot. I really want to get back into photography. Perhaps after I’m done with grad school, this will be something I will pursue more seriously.

Speaking of things that have nothing to do with photography, I really should be sleeping right now or at least doing something productive. I have some serious packing to do, but I keep procrastinating as usual. I am the type who likes to make a list of the things I am going to pack just so that I can check stuff off the list. Putting that little check mark feels so damn good. But here I am, procrastinating even my sleep.

The thing with sleep lately is that it has not been very restful. I have had so many freaking weird dreams. And really the dreams are not weird in a surreal sense – like dreaming of marrying a goat or making love to a tree (how does one even make love to a tree?)- but in a why-the-heck-am-I-dreaming-this kind of way. There have been two constant themes to my dreams lately: babies and people that I am no longer in touch with.  With regards to the former, I have dreamed the following:

-that I am pregnant

-that I am pregnant and give birth in a tub

-that I am pregnant and lose my baby

-that I pregnant and don’t know who the father is (ha!)

These dreams could be due to the fact that a) I know a couple of women who are pregnant right now, b) I am reading mommy-blogs or c) that I am 28 and my stupid biological clock is ticking. And the truth is there have been times when I see a baby and I think to myself, I think I want to have a baby now.

But now is definitely not the time, so forget it, Self.

As for dreaming about people I have lost touch with, I really have no explanation. The dreams involve different scenarios where I run into these people I no longer talk to. They wake me up in the middle of the night and then I spend all of the next day replaying the dream in my mind and changing what I say in the dream so that I sound cooler. It is utterly exhausting. As a result of these strange dreams, I keep listening to this song and trying to make sense of why my subconscious tries to bring up stuff ( or people) I want to forget about.

Anyways, it is officially Thursday now, which means only two more days at work for me. I am moving to college on Saturday and my summer semester officially starts on Monday. Here we go again, grad school.

See you on the flip side!

Photo-A-Day May: Day 31 (A.K.A. The End!)

Day 31

Something Beautiful

Last Wednesday after work, we randomly decided to go out and relax with a cold beverage in Wilmington. The weather was gorgeous. A little bit of sunshine, a stormy breeze and lots of cotton candy clouds.

This is the end!

Be back with some long paragraphs soon and no pictures whatsoever soon.